If i come over, it means nothing
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
