id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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