It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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