he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
