It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I love you.
Bad choice
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
