Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize