hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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