My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
