Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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