Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
