If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
