i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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