No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She even gives head with a lisp.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
