Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
