this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
