Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Of course I have a pirate flag
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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