I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
sex in a hospital.. check
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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