Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
