Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
