...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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