I am in a vortex of obligation.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
