I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
