You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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