If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
