my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
