if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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