I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
