do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
