ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
