the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
God, I missed his penis.
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