Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
