I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
the day after is always just damage control
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
