Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
