I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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