just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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