Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
