Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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