Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
