I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize