Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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