You're a womanizer and a bitch.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Randomize
