My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Life without a bra equals bliss.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
