You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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