Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
