I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
