That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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