Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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