i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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