This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize