I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
