Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
is it fun? or sober?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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