i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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