Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
