Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
