I like to think it a success when the cops are called
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
