She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I lost the right to judge tonight
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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