My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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