I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize