my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize