They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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